1) Whenever I manage moves for families with young children, particularly those under the age of ten, I recommend this darling book, Look Who’s Moving to a New Home, by Renee Raab Whitcombe. Kids don’t care about the same things as we do; they worry about their stuff, and whether or not it will show up somewhere new and different. Too often they come to feel lonely and frustrated during the relocation process.

Not long ago my family moved out of the only home my six-year-old had ever known. Using our own images along with Whitcombe’s simple and sweet words, my daughter was able to figure out where she had been and where she was going. Admittedly, it took a bit of effort to complete, but this book is a powerful conversation tool for any family undergoing change.

2) In my experience, it’s important to ask for kids’ opinions. If they’re allowed to make a few decisions about paint colors or accent pieces such as towels, shower curtains, or bedding, then they’ll feel a sense of ownership over the move process.

3) Also, make sure kids have the opportunity to set aside familiar items that will provide comfort during the in-between stages of the move. A good book and a favorite stuffed animal will help to ease the pain of an uncertain transition.

xo
Sonya
@seriatimharmony

I’ve been organizing clients’ photos and family memorabilia for a long time. It is a delight. The task of sorting through my own family’s archive, both current and past, remains unfinished. That dreaded notion of plunging back into certain memories, packed tightly in their plastic wrap, row after row, inside two-dozen albums on my bedroom shelf—it’s all so overwhelming. I inherited my husband’s family history, too, which includes war letters, documents of his Huguenot heritage, his entire life and work before he knew me.

When was it decided that it should be the mother’s duty to be the collector and keeper of these skeins of memories? It’s a big responsibility! I’m trying to keep track of nine other human beings’ lives, with all the paper and video pieces (or, in my mom’s case, 8mm films!). Not to mention my daughter’s art, sports, and camp memorabilia, which seems to increase weekly.

Some may say: If somebody were to sort, scan, copy, or—God forbid!—reorganize my photo collection entirely, could I lose those memories, like tangled yarn that cannot be wound back together again? Not to worry. I recently discovered a fabulous new resource, the Association of Professional Photo Organizers (APPO), which has technology that has inspired me to create a usable visual history for my family, and unravel some of my own memories. Then knit them all back together again in a consistent format. Until it changes again…

So tell me: what’s hidden in your space? Do you have a dilemma with your family’s photo archive? Follow us on Twitter @seriatimharmony and let us know what you’re struggling with. We’d love to help.

xoxo,
Sonya

Call me Scrooge, but I’m always relieved when the holidays are over. For many of my clients, friends, and family members, though, this is a dreary time, the so-called PHBs (Post-Holiday Blues).

Why the depression? Some of it is seasonal, of course, but there is another layer of negative energy, too. In the early weeks of the new year, we dwell on past resolutions that remain uncompleted. Was the task too large? Was I not ready for it, mentally or physically? Did I just ignore it? We begin each year imagining our future accomplishments, and we anticipate what the end result might be and feel like. But where do I begin? Answering that question is perhaps the most daunting task of all. In my experience, a logical first step is taking account of what you have. Then you’ll know where you are and where you can go.

Data and paper management, combined with an up-to-date digital inventory, will help you find your footing and the elusive starting point. Believe it or not, learning how to manage your inventory can be enjoyable. For many of my clients, an even bigger hurdle is realizing that resolutions—which, when broken down into smaller pieces, dates, meetings, family obligations, etc.—are never finished. It’s an assembly line. Oftentimes, as more tasks are ordered and updated, we may become scared or overwhelmed because our accomplishments seem futile. There will always be loose ends; when you have the information you need, and a system for keeping it, you will see a big picture. Don’t let the small pieces muddy this larger goal. The day-to-day stuff, which is important for practical reasons, such as insurance and other financial purposes, are just scrapes along life’s thorny path. Knowing who you are, where you’re going, who you want to become—those are the important things. Once you have a system for your data, paper and other household items, you can move forward in a positive direction with a clearer head.

Happy New Year to all!

xoxo,
Sonya

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When I was growing up, we moved a lot. Our leases were always up mid-December and for many years we were burdened with packing and unpacking, re-hanging the artwork, shopping, three Christmases, and New Year’s day (when I cooked) all during the same time. My mom loved it, my dad hated the bills; I loved the presents, of course, but didn’t much care for the family bossing around the only child in the room (me). Let’s not forget the tree! Invariably we chose the biggest one we could fit into whatever space we were living in at the time, covered it head-to-trunk, chock-a-block—every square inch—with a random Christmas ornament collected over eighty-odd years, the only real family heirlooms we ever had. It’s weeks’ worth of work jammed into a busy weekend, putting it all up, then an even busier task of taking it down, re-packing and storing it all over again.

Holiday time was really when I began learning how to channel my gift for logistics.  Nowadays, with husband, daughter, two stepsons, a father-in-law in a nursing home in Rhode Island, and mother here in the city, we’re still on the move. We tend to do two, sometimes even three, Christmases (as if one wasn’t already enough!). Our Christmas eve tends to be on the 23^rd, then Christmas with stepsons is on the 24^th so they can go back home and do real eve and day with their mom; then, my mom wants to host Christmas eve and day and then we go up to New England to celebrate with my husband’s dad and his stepmom. Could it be simpler? As an organizer, I say, absolutely! But sometimes that’s not an option. This year, I suggested to my family that we skip out on the tree. Would my family agree to my suggestion? Not on your life!

So, in between all the mental and physical business of networking events, holiday parties, end-of-semester school obligations, family gatherings, and, of course, the decorations, I try to pause and take time to enjoy everyone and everything. In my business, we de-clutter. We do the paperwork, the filing systems, the clearing of the desktop, the digital inventory, etc. Sometimes the only de-cluttering involved is getting rid of expectations. Clearing the brain space. It’s not dysfunction; it’s over-commitment. We don’t really take stock of what we have and what we could use. In other words: how do we use what we already have?

As the year winds down and my assistant, Haas, and I are making lists for 2012, our clients’ needs, resolutions—all the muck—I will take deep breaths and try be a little thankful for some of the chaos. It’ll always be there, life always finds ways to stump us. But as each new problem arises, I take a nugget of experience from it and hope that the next time I’ll get through it less painfully. Helping people find a way through their chaos, and making connections with good people—that’s the fun part. Anything I’ve learned I’m happy to teach.

In closing, I’d like to know what task in 2011 you hoped to accomplish but did not? What are you most proud of? Write to me at harmony@seriatim.net

Wishing everyone a bright holiday with much love.

xoxo,
Sonya

Could it be that the “Green Revolution” has made people more disorganized? These days our clients are complaining more about their paper management hassles than ever before.

The trouble is, things aren’t in the same place, so it’s tough to keep track. Though digital technology may have lightened the load, it is nearly impossible to store every bill and document in an electronic form. In fact, our most important documents, such as W2s, still come via “snail mail.” Perhaps this is why paper management is still a persistent challenge for many of us.

Last month, we had several clients who were scrambling at the eleventh hour to make their extension for individual tax returns (October 17, 2011). The task of organizing seemed too overwhelming for them: bills were hidden in Tupperware or stuffed into plastic bags—we even found bank statements inside a suitcase! Admittedly, it takes time, patience, and persistent dedication to change your paper management system. But anyone can do it. The key is to tackle small sections several times per year. Slowly, the system will become a system, and the anxiety will lessen. Truly, a consistent solution to paper management will save you money and spare you stress.

To begin, create a “To-Be-Filed” pile somewhere in your office—ideally at the corner of your desk. This is where the important stuff will go. But how do you know what’s important and what’s not? There is a difference between documents that must be saved for tax reasons (e.g., medical documents) and the papers that are kept because they are for your life—we call them “Reference” papers (e.g., birth certificate, insurance policies, passport, etc.). These papers are not calendar-based; financial documents should be kept separately because they relate to taxes and require follow-up.

Most people pay their bills by check or credit card. But usually there is more than one bank and more than one credit card. A good paper management system will group like items together: bank with bank, credit card with credit card, and alphabetically within each folder.

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First things first: your daily mail. Find a zone—near the front door, next to your desk, or on the corner of a kitchen counter—and create an Inbox and an Outbox. If it’s trash, shred it or just throw it out. If you do this every day, it’ll make a big difference, and it’s also therapeutic! Next, set aside some time twice a week to file your Inbox. Common categories include Bills To Pay, Insurance Forms, Magazine Memberships, Invitations/Special Events, or Kids’ School Stuff. Make one folder per category and file them neatly in a storage container under your desk. Then, if there are bills to pay, you can write the check and drop it in your Outbox—just grab it on your way to work!

Summer is winding down and that means there’s Big Kid stuff, too. What about all those glossy college brochures with the pretty autumn colors? Once you’ve read them, toss ‘em. But there’s more: tuition and insurance forms, moving and storage information, dorm room tips, FAFSA forms, the list goes on. Believe it or not, you’ll want to hang onto some of it. The high school diploma? Definitely. Acceptance letters? Sure! AP and Regents Exams Test Scores? Perhaps. Now is a good time for college kids to learn to file their own papers. What about those SAT exercise books? Do you have younger children who may need them soon? Or friends’ kids? If not, donate them to your school or recycle them!

Last—but not least—check your bags, your pockets and your countertops for loose receipts from big-ticket purchases or trips to the ATM. File them in folders, labeled by month and year, then forget about them ‘til April. Better safe than sorry!

Best of all, managing your paper is an opportunity to go GREEN! Set aside a box of used-but-usable paper next to your computer or phone to jot down notes. If it’s garbage, shred it and recycle it!

Remember: resources will add up quick. You’ll need to follow up with additional tossing or filing.

The loss of a loved one is an experience that requires great amounts of self-care and patience. While nothing can take away the pain, there are organized steps one can take when clearing an estate that will leave time and space to grieve.

My hope is to provide some tips to help encourage the preservation of memories, the shedding of unneeded clutter, a healthy collaboration of family members, and some financial stability. With a gentle eye towards calm and clear communication, one can let go of the clutter and hold close the objects that help preserve your memories.

It is likely that you have hired an attorney at this point to deal with the legal logistics of the closing of the estate. But what about the contents of the home? There is a lot of emotion surrounding the handling of the physical objects in a deceased family member’s space. There are also several resources available to help sort and assign the contents of the home in order to help family members determine what to sale, or donation.

The place to begin is to take photographs of each room, all closets and the contents of drawers. Not only will these pictures serve you emotionally as memory fades over time, but they will also act as a reference for family when they wonder where items went missing. Given the heightened emotions surrounding this time period, it is safest to have a hard reference of what was actually in the space before sorting began.

For a lesson on sorting, refer back to the Pre-Pack Prep section of last month’s blog: “A Harmonious Move for You.”

Digital Inventory

At Seriatim, we developed a tool to help complete this large task of object appropriation. Our Digital Inventory service helps make these appropriations clear, clean, and free of misunderstandings amongst family members.

This photo cataloging of items with accompanying descriptions, dimensions, values, and eventual destinations helps make clear what can often appear to be an emotional pile of mom or dad’s “stuff.” With this running list, which can be accessed electronically and attached to an email, family members can more clearly tackle the task of selling and auctioning items, offering up household goods to donation centers to retrieve a tax deductible receipt, and deciding who inherits which items in the home.

Donations

Donating items can be an art in and of itself. With the bed bug epidemic and a struggling economy, giving items away has become surprisingly challenging. It is always recommended to start with what you know. Often your local church, synagogue or school will happily take items.

In the New York City area, Housing Works is a great resource for donating goods, and their generous staff is a reflection of this remarkable organization at large. Electronics can be dropped at your local Best Buy and medical supplies can be given to your local hospital.

Sale

There is a lot of room for hurt feelings in the process of attempted re-sale of items because there is often an inflated expectation as it relates to getting back even 50% of the retail value of items.

After more than 17 years of clearing estates, I advise you to consider the value of your time and energy in relation to the dollars you can reasonably get in return. Hiring an art and household good appraiser to take a look at the space will provide you with a brief impartial third party opinion about the value of the items.

Sit with the results of this meeting for at least 24 hours before rushing into the re-sale or auction process, as the time and energy spent to do so often is not worth the net return. In the end, a tax-deductible receipt after donation is often a less stressful solution.

In conclusion, make decisions as a family and be completely clear with one another about household goods’ final destinations. Digital Inventory gets everyone on the same page. Check this task off your list now for your own security, alongside creating your will. Work now to create a Digital Inventory of your own household goods and free your family and friends of these tasks after you pass away.

Taking care of this now is one of the greatest gifts you can give your loved ones in the future—allowing you the space and time to grieve with as little logistics as possible to handle.